Is it Just Me?

I want to preface this by saying that there is nothing more rewarding in my entire life than being a mom. I love how silly Piper is. I love watching her learn to stand, walk, say "Dada" and "Mama". I love how she's figured out how to open the containers to her favorite foods. I love watching her splash in the tub. I love everything about her. But I don't love everything about motherhood.

Sometimes, being a mom is lonely. I am the only one of my friends to have a baby. I'm not very good at making friends either. Very few of my friends are married. Almost all of my friends here in Rexburg are single. I've found that I've lost more friends since having a baby then ever before.

Caleb works everyday so that we can save a large amount of money between our two jobs before school starts again. I am alone with Piper 12+ hours a day, 5 days a week. It's lonely. Our neighbors have little girls. Three neighbors, three little girls, all age two. Piper can't run around and play on the swingset with them. I often feel left out when they get together and watch their daughters run around. It's probably my own fault. I guess I could go out there, but that feels awkward.

I wouldn't give up my life for anything. In it's own simplistic way, it is everything I've ever wanted.

Being a mom means that I never shower by myself.
It means that my meals are eaten in secret.
Because I'm a mom I no longer have control over my heart.
It lives outside of me.
Being a mom means that my days are filled with dirty diapers and slobbery kisses.
It means that I'm never alone, yet starving for conversation.
Because I'm a mom my life is complete.
Life is complete.

I guess what I'm saying is, if more of my friends could get married and have babies, that'd be great.