You know when you're watching a movie and some lady in it is pregnant and she looks so happy? Her skin is glowing, her hair looks amazing, she feels a little sick, but is still able to function during her daily life? It's a lie.
Reminder: Every pregnancy is different.
I had heard of morning sickness. Heck, I can remember my 5th grade teacher bolting out of the room because she needed to stick her head in the trash can for awhile. I knew about that part of pregnancy. But do you know what parts I didn't know about? Bloating. Gas. Constipation. Inability to eat. Crying at everything. I mean everything. For example, last night my mom called me a pregnant lady as an explanation to why I was already upset at something my sister did. So, what did I do? I bawled. At the dinner table. Then I cried some more because I was embarrassed that I was crying. A few weeks ago I went to get a yogurt out of the fridge for breakfast and there was none. Someone ate my yogurt. So, what did I do? Cry uncontrollably. It doesn't even make sense.
Then there's the fact that my body is now fat. I'm not big enough to look like I have a baby bump...I just look like I put on a few pounds. For a girl who has been skinny her whole life this is not a fun realization, so of course, I cried about it.
Oh, and let's talk about exhaustion. Most days I don't make it out of bed until 7:30 and I have to leave for work at 8. Go ahead, ask me how many days I'm late. While we are on the subject, goodbye sleep. No position is comfortable. Caleb and I are cuddlers but sometimes I feel so gross I don't want him to touch me, which then makes it harder to sleep because I'm so used to sleeping cuddled up with him. I have to get up and pee in the middle of the night...twice. Even when I sleep well I still wake up feeling like I didn't sleep at all.
Let's get back to the bloating, gas and constipation. Ladies, you know when it's that time of the month and you are so bloated you feel awful? Yep, got that going on 24/7. The gas? It hurts. I have never dealt with gas pains before and now I have them to the max! I tried taking gas-x...didn't help. They seriously cripple me. Constipation...I won't go into details. I'll leave it at this. When I actually go number 2 I'm so excited that I tell my poor husband.
Smells. At times I can't even walk into my own house because it smells so bad. Once it smelled like vanilla and the smell was so strong it made me nauseous and I secluded myself in my office for the entire day. Working in a severe special needs classroom where some kids wear diapers and none of them have good hygiene...it's tough.
Migraines. Holy cow! Those things are bad. I had one so bad that Caleb found me on the floor in the bathroom in the fetal position. Sleep didn't help. Cold compresses didn't help. Dark rooms didn't help. It was terrible.
Everyone says that it will get better in the second trimester. I hope they are right, otherwise this will probably be our only baby!
All of this being said. I know that these crazy things happening to my body are worth it and that I am going to love my little baby like crazy! It will all be worth it when I see my angel's face. Caleb and I are so excited to be given this opportunity to become parents and to learn a little more about Christ-like love. It will be tough, but worth it...just like pregnancy.
As I have been going through this struggle for the past few weeks I have developed a sense of awe for women who go through this alone, for all the various reasons. Kudos to you! I don't know how in the world you do it! I couldn't get through this if it wasn't for my husband who calms me when I'm crying for no reason and doesn't make me feel silly. This man caters to my every need. He goes to the store if I need something to eat, he watches Disney with me when I'm not feeling up to par, he constantly reminds me that I am beautiful and that what I'm doing is something he will be forever grateful for. I am grateful to have him to lean on and ladies who have ever done this without that support...you deserve a medal.
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| Week 9 |
