Is it Just Me?

I want to preface this by saying that there is nothing more rewarding in my entire life than being a mom. I love how silly Piper is. I love watching her learn to stand, walk, say "Dada" and "Mama". I love how she's figured out how to open the containers to her favorite foods. I love watching her splash in the tub. I love everything about her. But I don't love everything about motherhood.

Sometimes, being a mom is lonely. I am the only one of my friends to have a baby. I'm not very good at making friends either. Very few of my friends are married. Almost all of my friends here in Rexburg are single. I've found that I've lost more friends since having a baby then ever before.

Caleb works everyday so that we can save a large amount of money between our two jobs before school starts again. I am alone with Piper 12+ hours a day, 5 days a week. It's lonely. Our neighbors have little girls. Three neighbors, three little girls, all age two. Piper can't run around and play on the swingset with them. I often feel left out when they get together and watch their daughters run around. It's probably my own fault. I guess I could go out there, but that feels awkward.

I wouldn't give up my life for anything. In it's own simplistic way, it is everything I've ever wanted.

Being a mom means that I never shower by myself.
It means that my meals are eaten in secret.
Because I'm a mom I no longer have control over my heart.
It lives outside of me.
Being a mom means that my days are filled with dirty diapers and slobbery kisses.
It means that I'm never alone, yet starving for conversation.
Because I'm a mom my life is complete.
Life is complete.

I guess what I'm saying is, if more of my friends could get married and have babies, that'd be great.

9 Months Old

Bah! Say it ain't so! My baby cannot be 3 months away from a year old! Absolutely not. No. No. No. This isn't happening! I am in full on denial. FULL ON PEOPLE.
Piper has been teething for the past couple of weeks. It's been really rough. She no longer falls asleep on her own for naps or bedtime. We know it's because her mouth hurts and we try to be patient. I'd be lying if I said that when she fell asleep in my arms I didn't relish in the moment.
She isn't walking on her own yet, but she walks around our living room holding on to whatever she can, the coffee table, the couch, mommy's knee, you know, whatever. Piper is almost standing on her own. She seriously never stops moving so when she gets the courage to stand on her own she falls pretty soon after. I think the record is like 10 seconds. Piper is truly the happiest, silliest baby. She continues to love meeting new people, but is starting to show preference to mommy over everyone else. She babbles all day long, usually "dadada" and "lalala" until her Daddy tries to put her to sleep. Then she yells "mamama" at the top of her lungs.
Piper's favorite book is her animal book. She loves when Mommy makes the kitty cat and doggie noises. Her favorite time of day is when Dad comes home from work. She hears the keys in the door and immediately perks up. She rushes to the baby gate and waits for him to come talk to her. They squeal and giggle. Piper sure loves her Daddy. We are so blessed to have him in our lives.
She has started giving new looks and they are FULL of sass. She kind of tucks her head down and looks up at me with her great big blue eyes and "you're stupid" is written all over her face.
Piper loves having her name put into songs. Her entire face lights up when you start singing to her and usually she'll even dance along!
Our lives are so full. We have been blessed with the most wonderful little girl. Caleb and I thank God everyday for the joy that parenthood has brought to us. In a time where our world is getting a little crazier everyday we are grateful for the knowledge of the Gospel and the peace and security it gives us in raising our daughter.